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Cupcakke has never shied away her sexual energy, and this new single off of her 5th studio album will be no different. Squidward Nose is guaranteed to rustle some jimmies, but let’s talk about why.

Cupcakke, Squidward Nose

 

Cupcakke, Squidward Nose

Penis size has been a topic of discussion since the beginning of time. What is too big? What is too small? Can a woman be satisfied if the man is “inadequate?” Squidward Nose is a tale of dissatisfaction. A woman scorned by a man who, perhaps, lied about the girth and length of the tool he was bringing to the workshop.  This is a love letter to her fans telling them that it’s okay to want something as obscenely large as Squirdward’s nose! This is Cupcakke gassing herself up, owning every bit of sexual energy she has and refusing to settle for a something, well, less than what she deems worthy. .

How Small?!

The first line, “His dick smaller than my toes,” immediately made me pause. Worldwide only 0.6 percent of the male population can medically say that they have a micro-penis. When the general populace brings this up, it is usually to make fun of someone with below average (the average being 5 inches when erect) size. So, a man with a more of a nail than a hammer is definitely what Cupcakke is talking about here. That being said, having a micro-penis can be a source of great shame and has led to many men seeking support from other via internet communities. The main concern that comes with a micro-penises is, “can it satisfy,” and that all depends on you and your partner. Look online, google is your friend! Just because the needle is small that doesn’t mean it can’t sew.

Common and Treatable.

Cupcakke, Squidward Nose

My eyelash flew off
When I saw that dick was too soft (What the fuck?)
Need a dick like Rick Ross
Or Dora the Explorer get lost

The following verse goes into how shocked she was to see that that “dick was too soft.” Interesting! Let’s talk about erectile dysfunction. This medical condition is extremely common for men 65 and older and can start to become apparent in men as young as 25. There are many treatments for what is commonly known as ED so, again, google is your friend. For the men, the earlier you see a doctor about erectile dysfunction, the earlier you can start treating it.

“Need a dick like Rick Ross,” seems to be her penis preference though and that is absolutely okay. Men, you are more than just your lower brain and to the ladies,  it’s okay to want something a little on the heavier side when it comes to sex. Just own it. Sex is not just gentiles slamming together repeatedly, it’s a connection of two bodies in their entirety. Hands, mouths, tongues, use the whole package! The worst sex is had when the only goal is to get off. Take a cue from Cupcakke, be honest about how you like it!

Okay, Oral?

Cupcakke, Squidward Nose

Get so much neck, it’s wrong
That I should smell like cologne
Swallow this dick, it’s gone
He’s searching for it on Chrome

Let’s talk about oral! There is still a stigma that women who enjoy giving oral are “sluts” and to that Cupcakke says, “Okay but the skill though.” Again, the ownership of herself as a sexual being is beautiful. She is saying that she enjoys giving it, we can assume she likes getting it and so what. She follows this up later with “All about the head like I’m in beauty school.”

On a more serious note, take care of your sexual health. If you are having sex, you should be seeing your doctor for regular annual (every six months if you have multiple partners) checkups and using protection. You are allowed to enjoy sex as an activity and it should never be a chore. Be open with your partner(s) whenever possible to avoid any lackluster happenings in the bedroom!

Watch the entire music video and enjoy the rest of Squidward Nose by clicking here!

Enjoy the mermaid aesthetic complete with a fisherman using a dildo as a lure. If you do not know who Cupcakke is, you can easily find her on Soundcloudtwitter and Instagram.

You should also check out some of earlier, equally as sexual, songs “Deepthroat” and “Vagina.”

Cupcakke, Squidward Nose

 

 

 

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